marina bay, chee bay or kao bay?

after certain hooha about 600,000 dollars being wasted on a charity ceo, we now have a 400,000 dollars issue on marina bay. did we spend our money on nothing? we paid a company 400k to rename a place after its previous name or rather current name. whatever. marina bay, after few years of "consultancy" and "research" and "thinking" is now called marina bay! so much for the creative thinking that we've been trying to encourage our youths to have. so much for the uniqueness we're trying to create.

anyway, i wrote in to cut waste panel to make my discomfort known. after all, our govt is now more open to rationale criticisms. and i'm hoping that they will be able to get a refund from the very very good company interbrand. is it interbrand? ya.. if we can take this 400k back, maybe we can give all the students in jcs to come up with a more creative name to replace marina bay. top prize shall be 3000 dollars. plus a free entry to smu, the creative uni. and then, the rest of the money can be given to students annually to rename different parts of our country. that's a good way to encourage creativity.

of course, by writing to the cut waste panel, it means that i must be prepared to give some good names to replace marina bay. i've thought of a few possible ones. we could call the "new happening" place Stamford Bay. sounds very ang moh. so we can definitely attract many british people and americans to rent our condos there. good for investment. if not, we can name it as Raffles Bay. sounds prestigious. goes a long way with our favourite school and college, raffles institution and raffles junior college and soon raffles university.

on another level, we could call it Chee Bay, naming it after our favourite opposition politician chee soon juan. we should honour him because despite supposedly being a gangster and all, he dared to ask sm goh "where did the money go?". now he can ask the govt again, where did the 400k go? that would be a pretty fitting name. one last name i can think of is Kao Bay. it is ideally singaporean as we all know we love to kao bei (complain) about everything we can think of. even this entry is kao beh-ing.

note: i did write in to cut waste panel. but i didn't give them my suggested names. i'm quite worried that they might think i'm insulting people here, but hopefully they will get my odd sense of humour.

best denki.. my @$$

me: hello
bestdenki: hello, best denki. how can i help you?
me: oh, i'm calling to find out about my laptop. i sent it in for repairs about a week ago.
bd: ok, wait ah.. what's ya name?
me: mr chua
bd: hold on ah mr chua.

-3min-

bd: hello mr chua. your laptop is now with hp. it'll take two to four weeks for the repairs to be done.
me: alright then, but can i just find out if they've found out the problem with it and a more precise estimate of when i can get it back?
bd: sure. wait ah..

-2min-

bd: mr chua, can i call you back to let you know? i'll call them now.
me: ok.

-one day later-
me: hello. i'm calling regarding my laptop.
bd: hp laptop is it? mr chua?
me: yesyes. like to find out its status.
bd: can i call you back to let you know?
me: erm..but..ydayyyy..
bd: i'll call you back ah.. 96!^)(^@?
me: yesyes.

-another day later-
same thing repeats

-yet another day later-
me: hello. i'm calling again again again.
bd: laptop? mr chua, i'll call them to find...
me: ya, you guys told me that, the last three times i called you
bd: sorry ah. anyway, they are changing something in your laptop. so i think next thu. or i think sunday. i'm not sure. but thu or sun. they say, it should be done. i'll call you when we've collected it..
me: are you sure you'll call or not? later.. wah lan eh.. i have to call another three times before you can tell me a simple thing like that.. are you guys stupid or something? knn, can't even do something simple. can't even call me back when you said you would. knnbccb. best denki my lan. fcuk, i don't wanna pay for my repairs. better give it back to me free. ccb.

ok, i have not spoken to them in the way i did (italics bit). but i'm intending to do so when i go collect my laptop. i really don't feel like paying those BeeDees.

suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi suzi

happy 20th!

imp-erial!

just attended a dinner celebrating the promotions in our organisation. packed with happy people, the promotees and the promotees-beneficiaries (people like me who didn't get promoted but were there for free food and "qia-ing"). being a fledging still in the department, it was inevitable that the more senior people asked me and my junior about our current status.

typical conversation

"so you're in xyz department?"

"yeah, indeed."

"are you permanently there or attachment?"

"i'm on vacation attachment, going back to study in about 2 months' time."

"WAH! so late ah? why ah? overseas ah? which uni?"

"i'm studying in imperial college."

"WAH (LAN EH, if the person's a joker)! IMPerIaaL (note the variation in pronunciation) ah?" [with eye brows twitched in a manner to show him being impressed]

"yup, imperial college"

sometimes, i wonder why they do that. why the big hoohah. i guess it's something i would do if i asked someone where he/she was from and he/she said oxford/cambridge/mit/stanford/manymore.

it's a thing that we all do. most of us do rather. we do it for a few reasons. but i note the two biggest reasons.

number1 reason-cum-myth: being in imperial means you're gonna be a high-flyer in the organisation. after all, most of your colleagues or future colleagues are likely to be from nus/ntu/smu. so, because you're an Ovalsees student, you're a high-flyer.

WRONG!

high-flying-ness is when you're given a high-flying scholarship, not when you're a lowly awardee. so i'm not high-flying. i still take my chartered bus to work and don't intend to buy a car in the next dunno how many years.

number2 reason-cum-myth: being in imperial without a highly scholarship means you're darn rich.

WRONG!

i'm not darn rich. but of course, i won't say my family's poor. but ya, being in imperial doesn't mean my family's loaded and snobbish and annoyingly rich and proud and rich. i was brought up as a peasant. my dad worked his way up to sponsor me for my overseas studies. so it's wrong to say that i'm a rich bastard. or rich kid. or something. obviously, i won't say i'm poor 'cos it would be implying that 600000 is peanuts.

all in all, being in imperial means nothing. it's an experience. it does give you a name. you become a gimp (what other uk students call us). you have a degree with a different heading. i guess it's good that we're different. still, hardwork counts for all. i still need to work hard to get a good degree. after all, a 2nd upper nus degree is better than a 2nd upper imperial degree.

okay, myths debunked.

i miss..

my laptop

and the saga continues/ends.. my friends rock..

nkf nkf nkf. people who live outside singapore and are not singaporeans have a fascination over singaporeans having a thing for abbreviations. everything we have, we abbreviate. saf, nkf, cte, pie.. this time round, our very own best-in-sg charity organisation got into some pr trouble. i shan't go into it, since everyone's so into it already and i'll just be repeating everything that everyone said. one thing i can't get over is the statement by mrs gct. something like "600,000 dollars a year is peanuts to a multi-million organisation". just can't get my head round the figure and the word peanut. anyway, it's quite amazing how everyone has raised their voices to voice their opinions about this issue. i guess, when it comes to singaporeans' money, you can't really argue with them..

terrorists, "deceiving" charities.. time to update everyone on my status in singapore. the past few weeks have been quite good. exercising a lot. eating a lot. meeting friends a lot. all very good activities. my parents commented that i come back to singapore to recharge myself before going back to london. i kinda agree. 3 months of non-stop eating, playing and working out then i'll go back to london to hibernate like a squirrel. i don't do much when i'm alone in london. i just go to school and watch stuff on my laptop. with suzi going to spain next year, i can embark on a studymonkhoodship, where my focus solely lies on rescuing my degree.

singapore's good for doing stuff. food is frickin cheap. the kfc's chicken is bigger than the uk's kfc chicken. the laksa is better than the non-existence laksa in london. weather's good for going out. in london, i just feel like stayin in the flat the whole day cos everyday's a sleeping day. singapore clubbing is as good as london, because it's cheaper. i didn't club at all during the entire academic year in london. i went to double o with some of my navy mates last night and it was fun. yes yes, i assured suzi nothing will happen and nothing did. we just chilled and played stupid games. i enjoy watching people getting drunk and spouting nonsense (not puke tho). so i always aim to drink till i'm high but stay sober so that i can catch my friends doing foolish things.

one thing i love about being back is getting to meet up with my friends. it's like making a new friend. absence between friends can actually make it more fun to hang out. i'm glad i have friends at my workplace. it makes work less dull and everything else more fun. three weeks have passed.. i need to prioritise my goals..

1. eat bedok ba chor, kayu prata, beef noodles, mee siam, kaya toast, etc. etc. etc.

2. buy stuff i need to buy. mp3 player, music cds, shoes, clothes..

3. meet the rest of my friends.

and don't worry.. i haven't forgotten about you suzi.. still missing you.

a letter to terrorists

dear terrorists,

it was a really nice sight, seeing the london double decker bus being blown into pieces. it reminded me of the last 9 months i had in london, taking the bus and always sitting on the top level with suzi on our way to school. we ain't no proper british with white hair and white skin. the dudes sitting behind us happen to be pakistanis. the ones to our right were japanese. the ones in front of us were pious female muslims wearing their fully muslim dress. i wonder who got killed in the well-syncronised blasts conducted by you. hardcore anti-muslims-islam-middle-east british? or people from other corners of the world seeking to better their lives in a multi-racial london?

it could have been me who was blown into pieces. certainly not an appetising sight, since my blood is probably quite oily from years of eating char kway teow. my insides are probably coated with acid burns from drinking coca cola. but it wasn't me. it was some random dude/chick who wanted to go to work. so i'm asking you, what's your purpose of these attacks? you said in the name of allah you're doing this. you say it's to free your people from palestine. you say it was to teach the frickin americans-british-coalition a lesson on how to treat others. so? did you achieve any of this by continuing to cut our heads off and blow our parts into pieces?

AS IF. as if, we or rather, they (americans-british-therestofthesupposedislamhatingworld) would give you a piece of land in israel. what would you name the place? terror-land? would your citizens be called terrorists? how are you gonna live? will people wanna sell your their food? their materials? their sex toys? i'm sure they would wanna give you their blessings after you cut off their heads. think about it.

have your violence brought anything? have violence brought anything? i'm not saying the americans and british are the good people and you're the bad ones. they suck too when they bomb random people from your nations. they're mfs when they kill some of you at your weddings. but think about it. will they stop doing this if you keep killing them randomly? someone has to stop. and you know the supposed superior people will not. gandhi freed a nation using his tummy. did the british give up in the end? yeah, they did. martin luther used his mouth to speak for the blacks. did he use a gun? nope, but the blacks are better off now. i can't think of more examples. but think of the ira. think about the civil wars that never end. in the end, sufferings only end when you end your violence.

anyway, please use your brians la. come on man, if you can make bombs and fly a plane, why not use your intelligence for something useful other than killing people? if you can plan such a intricate bombin plan that occurs right after london wins the olympic bid and just before the G8, maybe you could organise a mass peace walk to demonstrate your goal to free your land? maybe then, people will then realise you're not all about violence, not all about killing, and that you're useful and helpful to the society. alright, i'm not making any more sense, but please la, wake up your idea man.

i know it's not as simple as i say, but one thing is truly simple. these childish fights will never end when you don't stop being a pussy and killing our innocent when they're fucking unaware. if you want, i'll try writing a letter to bush and his poodle to advise them not to kill your people in iraq anymore. in the meantime, if an american or british soldier wants to shoot you, why not drop your weapons and tell them you wanna be friends? smile at them and i'm sure they'll realise you're a good old muslim who truly loves allah. allah loves people right? or does he wanna kill all of us?

yours truly,
officer chua

independence day.. first day of work and many other happenings..

yipee yay! seems like i haven't blogged for long, but it's only less than a week. i'm back in the sunny island, where the ioc (olympic whatever) is taking centre-stage, amongst the news of murder of a chinese lady and the killer filipino maid. i miss london of course and suzi. a lot a lot. but i've gotta make use of these three months innit? i've met a couple of friends already. too bad i didn't take any photos 'cos my friends all look damn good la! especially ed da man, whose droopy drugged-up eyes and nice out of the bed hair looks damn cool. enough on ed da man. i'm gonna meet him and the rest this coming wednesday. i better bring my camera phone at least.

everyone have said i've lost weight. my parents, my whoever, my colleagues! today was the first day of work. didn't do much work since there wasn't much work. did run a few km and tired out damn easily. it's good to be back working 'cos it gives me opportunity to put on weight by eating the canteen food and also build up my fitness. it was great catching up with my friends and colleagues. so much to say, but still a lot of time.

i'm not really doing this in sequence, but after i came back, i went to msia to visit my grandparents. my grandpa's sick. long story cut short. he was supposed to pass away last week or two weeks ago. he went into a coma and everything. but somehow, he's managed to pull himself out of it and now he's alright. only thing is he's suffering 'cos he's got dripped and also can't move any part of his body except his head and maybe minimal of the arms and legs. any-old-how, i'm glad he's fine. it shows one thing, when you're old, it's really difficult to live like you do when you're young. so i'm gonna remember how my grandpa is so that i'll treasure my youth more. so much to do, so little time.

my grandma's alright tho. she's fighting fit like an saf soldier. maybe more. haha. she's 80plus. and still looking really healthy. bought her some vitamins to improve her health. but i really should take care of my own health man. apparently, i might have some kind of blood disorder which isn't that serious, but bad for offspring if i do have it. ask the biologists or medics what thalassemia is. i think its spelt that way.

basically, many things have happened in these nine months away. more so, maybe in the past two-three months. my aunt (one of my many aunts) gave birth to her 2nd kid, but almost died because of blood loss or something. my other aunt got married. my cousin got married. my dad fell sick for some time. fuck, i was damn worried. and it happened before the exams. i'm glad he's fine. it seems like i'm just talking cock now and being really light hearted about everything, but the only reason i'm doing this is cos everything has turned out fine for the moment and i'm glad i can stop worrying for a bit. though i've not been to church for some time, i think i should thank God for protecting everyone around me.

so, dear friends, do take care of your health man. and don't worry your parents or cause trouble when you get ill. haha. i'm directing this particularly to a friend who should know who she is. haha. cos health is indeed wealth. better take care. ya.. enough nagging.. i'm gonna live my life properly. run everyday, meet up my friends, love the people i'm supposed to love, eat my heart out, keep my heart in and serve the nation..

pictures will be coming soon!!!