the aftermath..

things were supposed to be going well. going smoothly. but not. things have been happening at home. things have also been happening at work (even though i've not even started work!). so maybe the exam period was better than after. yeah, wtf am i thinking. after all, i've been whining about exams and all, but now, i'm complaining of post-exams. the reason i guess is during the exams, you get to isolate yourself from everything else. exams is number one. everything else can f off. it's a bit like ns. when you're in ns, everything centers around that. everything else can f off.

so maybe, that is why adults love the time when they were in school or when they were in the army. maybe not all, but i know many friends who, like me, would prefer school or training than the real world. of course, i'm glad that things have happened at a time after my exams. imagine finding out all that has happened during my exams. sometimes, i'm a bit of an escapist. i rather avoid confrontations, conflicts than go face to face with it. it's bit like the way i play killzone or counterstrike, i prefer to hide round the wall than chiong. of course, after knowing that you can restart a mission or campaign, you kinda heck care and just chiong after getting bored waiting for your kill. but life ain't like that. there's no restarting. once you've made the decision, that's it. it's almost certain to be irreversible. i've made some silly decisions in my time. but i keep makin the same mistakes. i've learnt to live with my own decisions. or rather, i know i have to live with them.

so anyway, i was so looking forward to going back to singapore. now, i'm feeling a bit reluctant to go back. after all, what lies ahead is not gonna be pretty. but i guess you can't always have the greener pastures. better to have some grass than no grass at all...